Welcome to
Hearted Root Coaching.

My name is Yaj. I help people with their relationships.

Since 2001, I have facilitated growth in people’s relationships and lives. Formerly an LMFT in New York for 17 years, I relocated to California in 2017, where I work as a Relationship Coach in private practice. My work guides clients with evidence-based methods that create healing connection.

My main theoretical orientations are: Family Systems, Attachment Theory (John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth), John Gottman’s research-based relationship tools, and 12 Step Recovery principles and practices. I am certified in Imago Dialogue (Harville Hendrix and Helen la Kelly Hunt’s work) and it is my foundation.

Influences on my approach are: Jonice Webb’s crucial work on Childhood Emotional Neglect, Susan Johnson’s Emotionally Focused approach to couples work, Internal Family Systems (Richard Schwartz), and Stan Tatkin’s PACT – Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy.

This foundation offers a superbly reliable lens and path for couples and individuals with relational challenges.

I would love the opportunity to be of help to you in your situation.

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If a person’s connection with significant others is not part of the coping and healing process, then, inevitably, it becomes part of the problem and even a source of re-traumatization.

– Susan Johnson

Connection

We feel our deepest joy and warmest fulfillment in moments of connection. However, our experience in relationships also involves some of the most difficult emotions we’ve ever had. In our modern world, there is a quiet epidemic happening behind closed doors and social masks – private suffering in relationship – with ourselves, others, and life.

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Graphic of a couple conflict

Many couples suffer from chronic negativity and emotional distance.

The struggle is real – patterns of painful interactions lead to chronic stress and tension. Partners find themselves distant, easily triggered, and shut down to each other. They don’t know how to fix the negativity and they’ve lost hope trying.

If this resonates, please know that you are not alone. I help people who are struggling with these kinds of relationship problems.

Many people struggle internally, feeling isolated and alone, even if others are around.

There is a core, primary relationship that sets the tone for our emotional experience in life. This relationship is with the Self. It includes the Child Within, the way we parent that inner emotional being, and our connection with our spiritual heart. When we’ve had disruptions to our development, this core relationship gets impacted. This is a fundamental aspect to our healing path.

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Divider

There is a way to heal the re-wounding cycle. There are effective, evidence-backed approaches and tools that are helping couples and individuals re-connect with themselves and each other, and to have healthy, fulfilling relationships

Divider

My services

My work focuses on the attachment relationship between two people. We address the emotions, longings, and unmet needs, repair the pattern of breakdowns and disconnect, decrease insecurities and fortify a secure bond.

Discover and experience:

Effective communication

Successful conflict resolution

Closeness, intimacy

More ease with each other

More Secure Connection with Self

Emotional security in the relationship

My Clients

Couples who reach out to me for assistance cover a wide range – married, domestic partners, straight, LGBTQIA+, dating – and in all stages of relationship development, including contemplating or in the process of separation, divorce, and navigating co-parenting.

Sometimes my clients are family members whose relationship is causing distress. It is often very sensitive and challenging to address problematic dynamics with family relationships. This work can be a richly rewarding gift to give to yourselves and each other.

Work with individuals addresses relational struggles – partner, family, work, social – and also the creation of a clearer connection with one’s self.

“Attachment to key others is our primary protection against feelings of helplessness and meaninglessness.”

- Alexander MacFarlane, Bessel Van der Kolk

“Conflict is healing trying to happen.”

- Harville Hendrix

Testimonials

It has been an absolute pleasure to be able to work with Yaj. She has helped me tremendously when it comes to setting boundaries with my mom, processing all of my emotions each day, my relationship with my partner, and my overall confidence within myself. I have made so much progress within the past nine months of working with her and can’t wait to keep working with her in the future. I’d recommend checking Yaj out to see if she’s a fit for you as well.
Gino Rose, Age: 33California
We are two women in our 70’s. We connected with Yaj from our first phone call. She was warm, friendly and guided us into the work we needed to do. Her questions are good and she is clear in her explanations and examples. We feel safe knowing that she sincerely cares.

During our sessions, Yaj checks in to see how it's going for us, which allows us to be comfortable and open to exploring our emotions. This work guides us into self inquiry and is a continual road of discovery. We are learning new skills to handle conflict and disagreement. Yaj helps us open up about our differences and helps connect us to our “us” ness. She has helped us through some dark clouds. It wasn’t easy but with her clear perception and guidance we have been able to get to a deeper understanding of each other. We look forward to continual discovery in our wonderful work with Yaj.
D & K, Age: 70'sCalifornia
Yaj was amazing. She was able to help my wife and I, who have been together for 20 years, identify our negative patterns that were keeping us from communicating clearly. She was able to fill the quiet spaces with quality information and guide the conversation in a productive way. Yaj really helped us better understand ourselves and how we interact together. In the end she gave us tools to approach and interact in a way that will create new patterns and provide deeper communication.
Malia and Brian A, Age: 40'sMcKinleyville, CA
There is a lot of good happening in our relationship coming from this approach. And, frankly, the Skype thing is a nice feature because of the convenience. No travel time for us. No childcare issues.

We are seeing lots of benefits from the tools you are sharing with us. Just two sessions and I can see a positive shift. We had a good dialogue the other day and it has made me realize I am doing things that don’t bring a peaceful solution existence. I am now in a zone where I see something and I know I need practice to break my habits.

You’ve been awesome teaching, coaching, modeling, listening, being objective and supportive.
Robin W, Age 50Boston, MA
We had an Imago Dialogue tonight. We used our scripts, and kept it short. Really, really great experience. I had a major connection point about my trigger and its origins. We are really eager to get more coaching.
Sarah L, Age 42 Stamford, CT
My relationship with my husband is changing for the better. We are learning to talk to each other without blaming or accusing. It is possible to state our individual needs without expectations that the other person will be responsible for filling them. As a process, we are relearning how to communicate, thanks to couples counseling.
Sharon B, Age 45Nyack, NY
Since the beginning of the program, it has changed me. I think differently, I embrace that there’s a new way of looking at things. I’ve discovered I have a voice and I can be heard.
Eric F, Age 43New City, NY
If ever there was an anti-therapy guy, that was me. And now I’m so glad I did it. It was a job at first, but it’s easier now. There are 3 words I will never forget – manage your thoughts. I do it all the time now. I don’t remember the last time I exploded.

We get along a lot better now. I feel better now. To be able to move forward from that is great. It really is a relief.
Bob H, Age 48Woodstock, NY
It’s amazing how someone who didn’t know us at all in the beginning can know us so well now and help 2 people communicate so much better in just 12 weeks.

It’s been life-changing for my husband. It’s amazing how different he is now. He doesn’t get bent out of shape anymore. He doesn't go there and I'm finding it easier to not say the things that used to make him go there. It makes it much more pleasant.

I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Judy H, Age 49Woodstock, NY
I am benefitting from this empowering work as I boost my confidence as a leader in my business. I have greater clarity on the values I’m trying to impart to my staff, and around boundaries. This includes my expectations of my team, what I want them to do, how I want them to work with me and me with them.

The work can be even more satisfying by being in touch with our leadership style. This is very empowering. When women have high incomes, they tend to dissociate from their money. They feel not worthy. Guilty. “I couldn’t possibly be that good.” We need to be grounded in our worth about money, and engage in the process of trying on and claiming our personal leadership cloak, and wear it with confidence.

Yaj is excellent at guiding me to do just that. I learn something in every session. I take notes and use what I learn in real time at work.
Beth G, Executive Coaching Client, Age 56New York, NY
My partner called me and was complaining about work – ranting. I didn’t want to take in the negative energy, but I wanted to be supportive. The Anatomy of a Trigger tool that you had just given us was sitting on the table in front of me. I used it to walk him through understanding what was bothering him and he felt so much better. He was ready to go to work with a positive feeling, rather than getting off the phone upset and angry.
Valerie T, Age 40Ridgewood, NJ
Yaj challenged me in areas that I did not want to be challenged. As a result, I overcame a negative relationship that I was holding on to and gained a love for myself, for who I am, and an appreciation for things about me I have always struggled with. I have gained a new and lasting confidence.
Abigail S, Age 30Nyack, NY
When I first came to couples counseling with my wife, I was very upset because things were so bad between us and that was killing me. Now we’re like kids again. We’re having fun again. Sex again. This is amazing.

I’ve learned more about myself in the last 12 weeks than I have in the 50 years of my life.
Dave D, Age 50Westchester County, NY
Yaj is an incredible resource for people wishing to educate themselves, grow and move forward in a conscious way, both personally and in relationship to others – whether in business, friendship or intimate relationships.

I am a busy mom, entrepreneur and artist, and the flexibility of our phone sessions allowed me to receive the self-care I require and were just as effective for me as in-person sessions.

She offers not only practical solutions and clear steps for taking action, but will help guide you to know your own truth and inner guide. Highly recommended!
Katie E, Age 43Valley Cottage, NY
I knew I had to be in love with myself before I could truly be intimate with another. It sounds so cliché, but there is nothing more true. Through working with Yaj, deep intimacy wounds were revealed and I healed the separation of self I always felt had played out in my intimate relationships.

I decided to marry myself and let go of the “Prince Charming coming to save me” story I had carried for so long. Of course, Yaj was the one I wanted to perform the ceremony! Her training in ritual and deep knowing of the path to self, combined with my desire for true relationship, co-created a turning point in my life.

I now have physical reminders, photographs, and an emotional reference from the ceremony to solidify this deepened, dedicated relationship with myself. That is forever! It was sacred and beautiful. Thank you, Yaj. You are truly a master who has helped me see my own path.
Julia L, Age 50Hawai’i
She is an experienced professional, but offers her wisdom in a way that makes you feel that you are just talking to your dear friend, as she holds space for you with strength, compassion, and without judgment.
Colleen M, Age 47Chestnut Ridge, NY
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Couple and Individual Coaching

Quality Help is Available

older couple sitting on a couch

Couple Coaching

Private sessions with couples offer a safe place to be heard and seen about your specific challenges and struggles. Partners get relief from the negative interactive cycles, and heal the past. The relationship receives the caring and skilled help it needs to heal and thrive.

  • Discover what's happening underneath conflict and negativity
  • Heal past ruptures and wounds
  • Experience an essential shift out of the negative pattern
  • Learn effective communication
  • Gain safety and closeness that is sustainable

My couple sessions are 75 minutes.

Two people separated

Individual Coaching

Private individual work is an opportunity to address relational issues and struggles with others - and with the self - in a uniquely safe and deep way.

The process of making change happens at your pace with my support for your learning and growing. We explore and address your goals around negative emotional and interactional patterns with others, issues with personal, professional and family relations, and your relationship with your self.

  • Identify negative relational patterns
  • Gain new communication tools, discover self-connection
  • Set boundaries
  • Bring healing to old places
  • Create change you've longed for

My individual sessions are 60 or 75 minutes.

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Free Consultation

If you are ready to take the next step, please contact me via email and tell me a bit about your situation. You can also text me directly at the number below. We’ll schedule a time for a free video consultation to explore the possibility of working together.

Ready to get started?

free pair bond book

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In-Person and Online Sessions
No insurance involved

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